Turmoil
by dancefan93
Summary: Not quite how to summarize this story. There's not really anything I can say without giving away the story. Just please read and let me know if it's any good. I was a little hesitate to put it up but I trust you guys to tell me if it's not good. Enjoy.


Ever since Henry had demanded that Regina not ignore him, he had been spending more and more time with her. That's not what bothered Emma. She knew that Regina was Henry's mother still legally as it may seem and he just wanted to spend time with her after spending a year away from her and not remembering her. What bothered her was he barely acknowledged her, not even in passing. What bothered her most was that he had started to call her 'Emma' again when he would acknowledge her. That hurt more than anything. She sat on her bed while Henry packed up his clothes to move into Regina's house once more.

"When do you think you'll want to come spend the night with me and your grandparents and uncle?"

"I don't know. I just want to stay with Mom for now." Emma nodded and didn't say another word. Henry zipped up his backpack and left the room.

"Bye Emma." The door closed and she fell onto the bed. 'Bye Emma' that was what she got, no hug, no kiss, no 'I love you'. She turned over and buried her face in the pillow. That settled it, her son didn't want her anymore. Something had happened and he didn't want to be with her anymore. This was why she closed off her heart because everyone eventually leaves, even her own son. A few weeks went by and she saw Regina at Granny's.

"How's Henry?"

"He's fine." She looked up and saw Emma's face. "The question is how are you?" Emma's shrugged.

"I'm fine I guess." She knew Regina didn't buy it but the way Regina looked at her made her look down. "It's just, I'm sorry I did this to you."

"Did what?"

"Made you feel the way I do now when I took Henry away. When you see Henry, just make sure he knows I love him and give him this." She handed Regina the storybook.

"Why can't you tell him yourself?" Regina asked truly confused. Emma gave her teary smile and a small laugh.

"Henry hasn't talked to me in a month. Just make sure he knows I love him and that he gets the book." Emma left the diner leaving a very confused Regina behind. Emma went to the loft where her parents and Neal lived. She walked in and saw Snow, Charming, and Neal inside.

"Hey."

"Hey. I won't stay long I just wanted to give something to my brother."

"Nonsense, you can stay as long as you want." Emma smiled and reached behind her. She unclasped the swan pendent and clasped it around baby Neal's neck.

"I want you to have this and always remember me and remember your sister loves you very much." She said it low enough so her parents couldn't hear it. She stood up and went over to her parents. She hugged Snow. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too Emma." She replied confused. Emma held on another minute before moving to David. She hugged him as well.

"I love you Daddy." David hugged her, cradling the back of her head as always.

"I love you too Emma, always." She didn't want to let go. She eventually did and left the apartment. She went to the docks to talk to one more person. She sighed as she saw him. She walked up and stood behind him waiting for him to notice her.

"Ah Swan. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just wanted to come and say good-bye." Killian whipped around.

"Good-bye, where are you going?"

"Somewhere I can be free." Killian looked at her. "I also want to make sure you'll keep Henry safe. With Neal gone he's going to need protecting and a male figure that's not his grandfather."

"Why are you leaving love?"

"There's nothing here for me. My son hates me, my parents have a new baby to care for, and I just keep breaking your heart. So, I'm leaving to spare anyone else new hurt."

"Love, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, don't do it."

"What more do I have to lose? There's nothing here for me." Emma gently touched his cheek before leaving the docks. She walked until she made it to the liquor store. She bought a bottle of wine and went to the cemetery. She went to Neal's grave. "The one person who I let myself love hurt me so much. In the end you died a hero and I'm grateful for that. Henry remembers now and he comes here as much as he can although I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't come here as much. For some reason he hates me now. I don't know what I did, but I did something. I hope someday he can forgive me." She kissed her hand and pressed it to the stone. She walked a little while until she came to another headstone. She knelt down and opened the bottle of wine. Since it was chilly out and she forgot her coat she welcomed the fake warm the wine brought her. "To us. I know I haven't been here in a long time. I'm sorry." She sat against the stone and sighed. "I miss you so much Graham. You're the only person who broke through all my walls and in record time I might add. My life is so screwed up right now I could really use you here with me, telling me I'm wrong, telling me everything will work out. Even though I never believed those things, when you said them it made them just a little bit more believable." She took another swing of the wine. "That night was the best and worst of my life. The night when I finally felt wanted and loved and then you died in my arms." She adjusted and laid down on the cold ground. "I love you Graham, I even have your shoelace wrapped around my wrist as a reminder of you." She raised her left wrist as if to show the stone. She gently fingered it and rested her head on her arm. She could feel the bottle of wine she just finished off taking effect on her as she dozed off.

Killian knocked on Regina's door. Regina opened it confused.

"Can I help you Hook?"

"I need to find Emma. She came to me today to say good bye but also to promise I would take care of Henry. I fear she's planning to harm herself."

"Do you have something of hers?" He pulled out her red leather jacket.

"Don't ask how I got it or why I have it but just do what you're going to do." Regina placed a locater spell on it and followed it with Killian. She noticed that it had gotten noticeably colder since this afternoon and if Killian had her jacket, then she wasn't wearing anything except her shirt she had seen her with at Granny's. They ran faster and found themselves in the cemetery. The jacket glided over and landed covering Emma's still form. "Emma!" Killian fell to his knees and pulled her body to his. "She's freezing." He moved his ear to her face. "No, no." He moved his hand to her chest. "Emma." He placed her on the ground and began CPR.

"Miss Swan, how could you do this?"

"Stop asking her questions and summon those metal boxes that will get her to the hospital." Regina called for an ambulance which unfortunately meant alerting David of his daughter's condition. "Come on Swan." Killian whispered before blowing into her mouth. Regina stared at the tombstone.

"Figures she would come here." Killian looked up. "This is the grave of the huntsman in our land. Here he was the sheriff before Emma arrived, he was also my pet both in the Enchanted Forest and here. When Emma came, he started to wake up and realize that he didn't have his heart. When he left me, I still hated Emma and I crushed his heart, killing him while he with Emma. He died in her arms." Killian wanted to feel rage towards Regina but right now his focus was on Emma. The sirens were heard and David's voice was heard.

"Regina, what happened?"

"I'm not sure, we got here and she wasn't breathing and no heart beat." David looked at his daughter as tears filled his eyes. He saw a piece of paper in Emma's pocket. He picked it up and with tear filled eyes, unfolded it.

"To Henry, Mom, Dad, Neal, and Killian." He read. "I know there is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I don't feel like my life is worth living anymore. I know that if I told any of you this you would all tell me that I'm wrong and I am worth living. I don't want anyone to blame themselves especially Henry. I know this will be hard on him so I hope you all will help him and not let your grief consume you. These are my last words to you all. First off, I love all of you addressed in this letter, yes even you Killian. However, I've seen the past couple of weeks, I've seen I don't mean much to any of you.

Henry, I love you so much more than I can ever say. You're my only son and my one pride and joy. I know you think because I gave you up I don't love you but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I gave you up because I love you. I knew I couldn't give you the life you deserved and I wanted better for you. I'm sorry I wasn't what you thought you would find when you came looking for me. I know you want to be with Regina now and I respect that. I won't be in the way anymore. Just remember I love you, always have and always will. I'll be watching over you." David stopped to wipe his tears and catch his breath. He looked up and even saw Regina wiping her tears away.

"Mom and Dad, I love you both more than you'll ever know. I know I don't show it but I do. I know I've said some hurtful things and I'm so sorry for that. I don't blame you guys for anything. I know Neal is your second chance and I'm sorry I've disgraced this family and I'm sorry that you can never forgive me this and even more so I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you guys wanted. I don't know how to be a daughter and I know that all I do is hurt you guys. Well, this will be the last time I hurt you both. Please make sure Neal and Henry never forget me. I love you both Mommy and Daddy. I'll be watching over you."

"We've got a pulse! We're moving her to the hospital."

"We'll meet you there." Regina said trying hard to keep her voice even. She turned back to David and motioned for him to continue.

"Neal, my dear baby brother. I know you don't remember me and you ever will but just know that I do love you. While you're getting everything I never did I don't hold that over you. Mom and Dad love with their whole hearts and they should get to love someone from start to finish now that I'm gone it has to be you. Please don't disappoint them the way I know I have. Keep that swan pendent with you at all times as a way to remember me. I know that when you get older you'll hate me and I don't blame you at all. Just please remember I love you and I'll be watching over you.

Killian, my dear dear pirate. I know I never got the chance to tell you but I love you. It hurts me that I'll never get to tell you but this is best I can do. I can't stand the thought of hurting you once more. I don't deserve your love with how much I've hurt you. That's all I do is hurt you time after time after time again. Well now you can find someone who deserves your love and affection. I love you very much and I hope when you think of me you'll think of the good times not this. Good bye my love. Emma."

"Let's get to the hospital so we can make sure she pulls through." Killian said getting up and walking towards the entrance of the cemetery.

"What am I going to tell Henry?" Regina asked looking up at David.

"Same thing I'm going to tell Snow, nothing if she pulls through."

"What if she doesn't? I can't tell my son his mother killed herself."

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. Let's get to the hospital first." David helped Regina up and they walked towards the entrance. They heard a car alarm and ran towards it. They saw Killian hitting a car repeatedly with his fist. After a couple hits, his loud sobs were obvious and he slid to the ground sobbing. They two of them couldn't help but cry as well. Seeing the fearsome Captain Hook cry was their breaking point.

"I'll pay for the damages mate. I'll meet you at the hospital." He took off running towards the hospital. David and Regina got into the squad car and went to the hospital. When they got there, a doctor was waiting to talk to them.

"Miss Swan is very lucky. The cold she was exposed to dramatically dropped her body temperature. She has mild hypothermia and a weak heartbeat. I expect she'll make a full recovery. We also had to pump her stomach there was a large amount of alcohol in her system we're working on flushing that out as well. It will be a while until anyone can see her. I'm also putting her on a seventy-two hour suicide watch when she wakes up."

"She's my daughter, can I please sit with her?"

"Only because you're the sheriff. Follow me the rest of you will have to wait here."

"I have to get back before Henry realizes I'm gone. Please call me when she wakes up." Regina told them. David nodded and followed the doctor. His heart broke when he saw Emma looking so small and weak. He went over and sat down in a chair. He took her hand and wanted to break down when it was limp in his.

"Please Emma, please wake up. Don't leave me. I just got you back for the second time I'm not ready to lose you again." He pressed a kiss to her hand and held it to his forehead as he let his tears fall. He opened his eyes hours later, he realized he must have dozed off still holding Emma's hand. As he was rubbing his eyes with his free hand, he heard the sheets faintly crinkle. "Emma? Emma, if you can hear me squeeze my hand. Come on Emma, please. Come on Emma, I'm right here, Daddy's right here." He felt faint pressure around his hand. "Yes, that's my girl. That's my girl." He kissed her hand hard and smiled as tears leaked out of his eyes. He moved her hand to his other and raised his hand to stroke her cheek. She shifted and slowly opened her eyes.

"Dad."

"Emma, I'm here. You're going to be okay." David kissed her head and laid his forehead against her hair. "I love you Emma. I was so scared when I got that call. Please Emma, promise me you'll never do this again."

"I'm sorry. I don't even know why I did this. I just I thought I didn't matter anymore. I mean Henry left me to live with Regina full time and hasn't spoken to me in a month. You and Mom barely acted like I existed anymore. All you guys cared about was Neal. Killian kept on chasing me and I felt like I didn't deserve him and I needed to get to see that. I'm sorry. I didn't think I just acted." David pulled Emma into his arms and hugged her. Emma leaned into her father's embrace, the only place she ever felt safe.

"I'm so sorry Emma. I didn't know you were feeling this way. I'm sorry we made you feel like we didn't care. We love you so much and I'm so sorry." Emma sighed in David's arms. She opened her eyes and saw the paper in David's pocket. She took it and pulled back. As she opened it, tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Who's seen this?"

"Only me, but Hook and Regina have heard it."

"Please tell me Henry hasn't."

"He hasn't and he never will now that you're up." David smiled rubbing his thumb across her cheek. "I'm glad I'm okay. I just got you back for the second time, I'm not losing you again." He kissed her cheek and for the first time ever, Emma felt really truly loved. As the days passed, Emma got better and Snow and Henry never found out she was in the hospital. David just told them that she was working hard at the station and didn't want to be disturbed. Surprisingly enough, Snow accepted that and never tried to go down to the station. One night while the family slept, Emma stood in the living room staring at the fire. She went over and knelt down in front of it. "Emma? You okay?" David asked coming into the room while putting his robe on.

"Yeah, just thinking." David knelt down next to her.

"It's late. You should be sleeping."

"Those drugs they had me on in the hospital really made me tired. I think I've slept enough to last at least a couple of months. I had to do something. I was going to do it alone but since you're here, you can stay."

"You sure? I can leave." Emma nodded and took the note out of her pocket of her robe. She looked at it one last time before ripping it once, then twice, then three times, and kept going until it was just little scraps of paper. She gathered them all in her hands and threw them into the fire watching them burn into ashes. She laid her head on David's shoulder before kissing his cheek.

"I'm going back to bed. I have a mommy/son date tomorrow with Henry." She said with a smile before getting up and leaving. David watched her leave and smiled. His little girl was getting better.


End file.
